A Fools Redemption

So, this entry will be about my largest fault (in my eyes). I have decided that being more aware of it will somehow help me overcome it. Here it is...I am horrible at making friends and probably even more horrible at keeping old friends. There, I said it...and it's true. Here goes my explanation...

I think I have always been bad at making friends, it is not a gift that comes naturally to me. Yes, I believe that I am a nice person but making friends just isn't in my gift set. I have been opinionated and stubborn since the day I was born and it only got worse when I learned how to talk. When starting new friendships I have the hardest time opening up in any sense of the word, 1) because I'm partly afraid that my oh so opinionated self will come out very strong, or 2) I have no idea what to talk about because I only like to talk about things that I know or care about. (selfish? Yes, I know and I'm working on it.)

Proverbs 18:2 says, Fools have no interest in understanding they only want to air their own opinions.
**Ugh**

I need a fools redemption.

My husband is a social butterfly. It's like people shake his hand (*BOOM* magic glitter and smoke inserted here) and their instantly friends. Where I might have to shake a person's hand about 100 times and then we are acquaintances and talk occasionally when we see each other. Michael's phone rings a lot and it's typically someone new each time. If my phone rings it's either Michael, my mom or my boss texting me that I need to do something. Sad? Well that depends because I kind of like it...it's bittersweet to me because if it was anybody else I probably wouldn't know what to talk about. I'm so awkward, it actually hurts. :)

**I like to blame the above paragraph on the fact that Michael plays guitar and most people like to talk about that where as I...do paper work, read and talk about stupid facts and numbers well?? Yeah, case in point.

I'm not a "let's plan to get together" kind of person, although I'm getting better. This (moving on to the next point) is why I suck at keeping old friends. I super stink at checking in with people and trust me it isn't because I don't care about them it's because I suck at actually taking action when it comes down to it.

I've lost every "close" friend I've ever had...for a number of various reasons but I blame my lack of action and complete awkwardness for most of it. I'm hoping to keep Michael by my side for the rest of my life...he helps keep me in check. :)

Proverbs 12:1 says, To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.

Well, I'm a learner....I'm disciplining myself to be better at being a friend.

Baby steps but I'll get there.