believe is an awesome program to work with. The more I am around this ministry the more I understand how totally awesome junior highers are and the adult leaders/youth ministers that have dedicated their time to be apart of those students lives. There are some pretty rockin' moments at believe from the Rubyz concert and seeing all the kids jump around and get excited...to seeing the worship band lead students into a time of fun celebration and meaningful praise. Seeing kids jump up out of their seats to see Brent the stunt guy do his awesome tricks and watch in awe as Jared the illusionist blows our minds, once again with his crazy tricks. Watching Eric paint and create and use his talents and watch the kids react to that "art" of worship is simply ...awesome. But none of those things are my favorite although they all rank high.
It was a moment that I experienced in Omaha. Standing in the middle of room with 400 students and adult leaders as they broke up into their small groups. This happens on Saturday afternoon and honestly it's a time for the staff at believe to catch up on having some fellowship with each other and trying to get things ready to pack for load out. It's a pretty busy time for us. But something stopped me. I stood in the middle of that room and just began to listen, to observe. Time out: Have you ever been to a great sports game and heard the roar of an amazing crowd. The thunderous sound pumps adrenaline into my veins and makes me so excited! I love listening to a crowd and how about when something really exciting happens and it becomes the single greatest topic to the audience and all "the buzz" throughout the people? Time in: That is what I heard. It was the roar of conversation...and the buzz was Jesus.
I stood there for a second and I heard the voices of students start to open up and talk about what was going on at home, school and with friends. I heard the voices of other students agreeing as they listened to their peers. I heard the voices of the adult leaders as they began to ask more questions and receive more feedback from their students. The topic was Jesus and it was the greatest, most worshipful moment of that weekend for me; to watch those students start to speak up about what was going on in their lives and to seek God in their lives. I got to witness that. What an honor.
I never would have picked this job for myself...ever. I want to write and speak and travel...etc. I made a decision about two years ago that my heart was not prepared for that. If I would have followed and pursued a speaking career for a university or random organization I would have done it because I wanted the glory. I could have...I wanted the attention...I'm good at public speaking...I wanted people to see or hear that. But then I allowed God to take my steps. Proverbs 16:9 says, "We can make our path but the Lord determines our steps." I have begged God to use me...in whatever way He desires and maybe it isn't the way I thought it would be and wanted it to be and perhaps God is giving me the life experience and growth I need. The believe theme for the 2008-2009 tour is "speak" to speak God's words to all those around, to encourage, share and defend. There is probably a lesson in there for me. I got to witness 400 students and adults speak to each other and pray with and for each other and to pray for those that were not with them and it was powerful beyond comprehension. I was called to speak... maybe just in a different way then I ever expected.
"The buzz" was Jesus...and it completely changed my life.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
I don't even know how to do this.
I have no idea what to write about or what would interest others. I have wanted to be a faithful "blogger" for some time now and this will be an attempt to help that come true. I don't even know how to do this but I'm willing to try.
Becoming a Christian was not in the cards for me if you would have looked at my life growing up. It wasn't something that people would have ever thought; that the Brown children would be Christians...much less work in the minstry. My parents were raised to think that everything in this life was from man. That working hard and money would give a person everything that they desired. My parents taught me how to put my head down and work hard, to be confident in the work I do and that there would always be someone out there that wanted me to fail so I had to prove them wrong and they taught me that I had to be independent and rely on no one but myself. . .then I met Jesus.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was my birthday and I was turning nine years old. Somewhere deep inside me I knew that I was empty and there was something that could fill my little heart up but I was unsure where to find it. I knew of a man named Jesus from a sunday school advertisment on Sunday's after "Feed the Children" went off. I remember thinking that Jesus was awesome because He was going around fixing problems and emptiness. So at the young age of seven I began begging my mom to let me go to church and met Jesus. But it wasn't a part of what my parents believed in or supported so the answer was always "no". Two years and the emptiness was still there and so were my questions about going to church. So my mom sucked it up and I got to go to church to meet Jesus on my ninth birthday. I remember being so confused because after I got to church I realized that I couldn't meet Jesus; I couldn't reach out and touch Him like the the woman did to be healed on the t.v. show. Confused, scared and nervous that my dreams of being filled by Jesus were not going to happen I began to ask more and more questions. I started begging to go to church as much as possible and my mom...with a deep sigh and a heavy heart started taking me to church.
I was baptized a few years later with the knowledge that I had encounted Jesus it was different then I thought it would be. It was better. My little heart was filled with this passion to live for Him and I knew that this life wasn't about me. For the first time I felt filled with a purpose. My youth minister came to my house and to talk to my mom and dad...I was junior higher. He wanted me to go to some weekend get-a-way called believe. I wanted to go because the church youth group was going. I had no idea want believe was. My parents kicked and screamed (not literally) but finally came to the conclusion that it would be ok for me to go. It was only a weekend.
I sat in an auditorium with my youth group in Tulsa, Oklahoma. There were two banners on either side of the stage. I still remember exactly what they look like. This was my first youth group trip, my first believe and first time I truly realized and grasped that I wasn't alone. The room was full of kids my age and adults that loved us. I remember, literally screaming to the worship songs because I was so excited to worship. For the first time I knew that I was exactly where I was suppose to be and that even when I went home I was going to be ok because I served a holy, powerful God that loved and cherished my existence. I was no mistake to Him.
I'm 21 now,. Graduated from college with a communication degree. My parents taught me to work hard and I do. I didn't even know that Christ In Youth was in Joplin until my mentor at college literally put me in her car and drove me to the office and said fill out the application to be an intern. A year and half later I'm on staff with believe. The very conference that set my feet on fire to run around like a mad woman for Jesus Christ! I feel overwhelmed, honored and scared to death. I'm a loner, backwards and awkward. I don't like public places and could easily be a hermit if I allowed myself to and yet God said no you are my creation and you can do this. I work with an incredible team of people that I am still getting to know that love God with all thier heart. They love junior highers and have a passion for the ministry that Christ In Youth is committed to.
Blessed beyond belief I sit in this coffee shop with tears streaming down my cheeks but I know that I am exactly were God wants me to be. I would have never thought it or dream it up myself but it feels good. I'm scared of messing up and looking silly....I'm scared of a lot of things....but more then that I am eager and ready to serve to the King.
To anyone that thinks junior highers aren't craving to know thier maker is crazy. I was a junior higher with a crazy family and heart to know why I felt empty but with God I felt filled.
Junior Highers love Jesus too.
believe....here I come. God...thank you...I'm relying on you...here I am; use me.
Becoming a Christian was not in the cards for me if you would have looked at my life growing up. It wasn't something that people would have ever thought; that the Brown children would be Christians...much less work in the minstry. My parents were raised to think that everything in this life was from man. That working hard and money would give a person everything that they desired. My parents taught me how to put my head down and work hard, to be confident in the work I do and that there would always be someone out there that wanted me to fail so I had to prove them wrong and they taught me that I had to be independent and rely on no one but myself. . .then I met Jesus.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was my birthday and I was turning nine years old. Somewhere deep inside me I knew that I was empty and there was something that could fill my little heart up but I was unsure where to find it. I knew of a man named Jesus from a sunday school advertisment on Sunday's after "Feed the Children" went off. I remember thinking that Jesus was awesome because He was going around fixing problems and emptiness. So at the young age of seven I began begging my mom to let me go to church and met Jesus. But it wasn't a part of what my parents believed in or supported so the answer was always "no". Two years and the emptiness was still there and so were my questions about going to church. So my mom sucked it up and I got to go to church to meet Jesus on my ninth birthday. I remember being so confused because after I got to church I realized that I couldn't meet Jesus; I couldn't reach out and touch Him like the the woman did to be healed on the t.v. show. Confused, scared and nervous that my dreams of being filled by Jesus were not going to happen I began to ask more and more questions. I started begging to go to church as much as possible and my mom...with a deep sigh and a heavy heart started taking me to church.
I was baptized a few years later with the knowledge that I had encounted Jesus it was different then I thought it would be. It was better. My little heart was filled with this passion to live for Him and I knew that this life wasn't about me. For the first time I felt filled with a purpose. My youth minister came to my house and to talk to my mom and dad...I was junior higher. He wanted me to go to some weekend get-a-way called believe. I wanted to go because the church youth group was going. I had no idea want believe was. My parents kicked and screamed (not literally) but finally came to the conclusion that it would be ok for me to go. It was only a weekend.
I sat in an auditorium with my youth group in Tulsa, Oklahoma. There were two banners on either side of the stage. I still remember exactly what they look like. This was my first youth group trip, my first believe and first time I truly realized and grasped that I wasn't alone. The room was full of kids my age and adults that loved us. I remember, literally screaming to the worship songs because I was so excited to worship. For the first time I knew that I was exactly where I was suppose to be and that even when I went home I was going to be ok because I served a holy, powerful God that loved and cherished my existence. I was no mistake to Him.
I'm 21 now,. Graduated from college with a communication degree. My parents taught me to work hard and I do. I didn't even know that Christ In Youth was in Joplin until my mentor at college literally put me in her car and drove me to the office and said fill out the application to be an intern. A year and half later I'm on staff with believe. The very conference that set my feet on fire to run around like a mad woman for Jesus Christ! I feel overwhelmed, honored and scared to death. I'm a loner, backwards and awkward. I don't like public places and could easily be a hermit if I allowed myself to and yet God said no you are my creation and you can do this. I work with an incredible team of people that I am still getting to know that love God with all thier heart. They love junior highers and have a passion for the ministry that Christ In Youth is committed to.
Blessed beyond belief I sit in this coffee shop with tears streaming down my cheeks but I know that I am exactly were God wants me to be. I would have never thought it or dream it up myself but it feels good. I'm scared of messing up and looking silly....I'm scared of a lot of things....but more then that I am eager and ready to serve to the King.
To anyone that thinks junior highers aren't craving to know thier maker is crazy. I was a junior higher with a crazy family and heart to know why I felt empty but with God I felt filled.
Junior Highers love Jesus too.
believe....here I come. God...thank you...I'm relying on you...here I am; use me.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Creation
Psalm 139
1) O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2) You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my every thought when far away.
3) You chart the path ahead of me
and tell me where to stop and rest.
Every moment you know where I am.
4) You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5) You both precede and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6)Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to know!
7) I can never escape from your spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8) If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the place of the dead, you
are there.
9) If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10) even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11) I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night-
12) but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are both alike to you.
13)You make all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother's womb.
14) Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous- and how well I know it.
15) You watched me as I was bring formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16) You saw me before I was born
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
17) How precious are your thoughts about me, O God!
They are innumerable!
18) I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up in the morning, you are still with me!
....
23) Search me, O God, and knwo my heart;
test me and know my thoughts.
24) Points out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
He is the creator. He created me, sometimes that is an easy thing to overlook. I am a creation of the King.
1) O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2) You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my every thought when far away.
3) You chart the path ahead of me
and tell me where to stop and rest.
Every moment you know where I am.
4) You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5) You both precede and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6)Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to know!
7) I can never escape from your spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8) If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the place of the dead, you
are there.
9) If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10) even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11) I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night-
12) but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are both alike to you.
13)You make all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother's womb.
14) Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous- and how well I know it.
15) You watched me as I was bring formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16) You saw me before I was born
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
17) How precious are your thoughts about me, O God!
They are innumerable!
18) I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up in the morning, you are still with me!
....
23) Search me, O God, and knwo my heart;
test me and know my thoughts.
24) Points out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
He is the creator. He created me, sometimes that is an easy thing to overlook. I am a creation of the King.
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